What do Kazimierz Dabrowski and Liverpool FC have in common?

The song You’ll Never Walk Alone began life on Broadway in 1945, thanks to Rodgers and Hammerstein. It was instantly popular, and has been covered by many artists over the years. But in 1963, Gerry And The Pacemakers did their version, and Liverpudlian magic was made. The song has been fully adopted by Liverpool FC, being sung before every game, and the words ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ being incorporated into the team emblem and forged into the gates of Anfield stadium.

It is an uplifting song of hope. The lyrics convey comfort and solidarity. To many, the message of this song is clear – in times of trouble, you’re not alone. But if we dig a little deeper, we start to understand the true nature of the troubled times. We start to understand the reasons why you’ll never walk alone. More importantly, we can explore how this underlying message is a critical component for navigating Dabrowski’s framework of positive disintegration. 

Yes, you read correctly – Gerry And The Pacemakers sang about the secret of navigating intense inner conflict and developing your authentic personality. So let’s do a verse-by-verse examination of the lyrics, and try and translate each part in a way that reflects the theory of positive disintegration.

When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don’t be afraid of the dark

At some point in your life, you may go through a period of disintegration. You will be walking through an internal storm of inner conflict. Whether your inner conflict is triggered by external events, or has happened spontaneously, if you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, you’re probably going through a disintegration. A raging storm which has tipped over your world view, uprooted your previously-held beliefs, and drenched you in uncertainties about yourself and the world.

But in those moments, it’s important to hold your head up high – don’t hang your head in shame, because you have nothing to be ashamed of. This is a process, and does not mean that there is anything wrong with you, or that you are less. Society may tell you that inner conflict and disturbances indicate poor mental health, but Dabrowski stated very clearly that psychoneurosis is not an illness. Life’s mental storms are nothing to be embarrassed about, and are in fact a key ingredient in our overall growth.

And don’t be afraid of the dark. Just because the storm is raging, and you may not be able to see where you’re going, don’t fear it. You may feel like parts of you are coming undone (and they are), but that doesn’t mean that the storm has to be the complete end of you. Don’t be afraid, because it is necessary in positive disintegration to let the storm run its course, and undo what must be undone (to make way for something new).

At the end of a storm

There’s a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark

You don’t get a golden sky before a storm, only after one. The sky will transform from something dark and scary, into something beautiful. After your time of internal conflict, and after you deal with your disintegration, there is something better on the other side. Golden sky. The silver song of the lark. Valuable, beautiful things are waiting for you when the storm ends, if you care to make them happen for yourself. Transformation can take place, if you embrace the change and do the work. On the other side of disintegration, sweet things await you –  dealing with some of your issues, and being closer to your authentic self. It is worth walking through the storm to see this glorious beauty.

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Just keep going. Keep working through it. Work on yourself, and examine yourself. Think about your values, and what is really meaningful to you. Walk on through the wind and the rain. Remember that trees need a certain amount of wind and environmental stress to make them strong, and grow thick trunks and deeps roots. Rainwater helps them grow, and without it they will wither. The elements battering you during this storm are necessary. Dabrowski said you really can’t have any growth without disintegration. You need that wind and rain, even if it feels unpleasant. So don’t hide. Don’t avoid it. Walk on through it.

Don’t quit, even though your dreams be tossed and blown. The things that you once held as valuable may indeed fall away – those dreams may be ruined. But perhaps those dreams were never really yours in the first place, and were dreamt up by someone else? Society? Parents? Religion? Don’t worry about the fact that values and ideas you once thought were important, lay in tatters. The products of your socialisation, and what you thought you wanted to be, may no longer exist. But that’s a good thing, because it clears space for a new you – who you ought to be. You now have a chance to dream of something new, and create your own values.

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Persist. Walk on. Work through your disintegration. It feels like hell, but keep moving forward. Take one step at a time. One day at a time. Walk on…

Hold hope in your heart that things will be better once you work through your issues and confront your inner demons. Have hope in your heart, knowing that this disintegration is necessary for authentic growth and personality development. Have hope that you will start to understand who you really are. You are walking on the path towards your authentic self. Have hope in your heart that you can do this!

And if you do persist, you will never walk alone. Why? Because shared human experience means that many people before you have walked through their own storms. Right this minute, all around the world, people are walking through storms. Others have seen the wind and rain too, and know what it’s like to be drenched and cold. You may be physically alone, and no two storms are exactly alike. But by walking through your personal storm, you will participate in a shared experience.

Dabrowski wrote a poem Be Greeted Psychoneurotics. It’s on this website. It echoes the same sentiment – you are greeted, because Dabrowski is welcoming you into the fold. He is greeting you because the things you experience are shared, and you are part of that shared experience. He is greeting you because you are not alone.

If you are going through a storm of disintegration, you are not alone. If you have overexcitability and are figuring out how to deal with the wind and the rain it causes, you are not alone. If you are having an intense and difficult experience of the world, you are not alone. If you are having a frightening dark night of the soul, you are not alone. If you are wrestling with the way things are, and dreaming of how they ought to be, you are not alone. If everything you once knew about yourself now lays in tatters, and you are figuring out who your authentic self really is, you will never walk alone.

But here’s the thing – you need to walk on. And you need to walk on with hope in your heart. 

Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Don’t despair. Hold hope in your heart that no matter how bad things feel right now, if you walk on, there will be an end to the storm. There is a golden sky waiting for you, and when you hear that sweet silver song of the lark, the wind and the rain will not seem so bad. There are people out there who have survived the storm, and are looking at that golden sky right now. It does exist.

Walk the path towards your authentic self, and you’ll never walk alone.